Why Are We So Hard on Ourselves?
By Brenda Hyde
Have you noticed how hard Moms are on themselves? We need to allow
ourselves a mistake or two along the way. We are not going
to scar our children for life if we are late picking them up from school
because we couldn't find our keys. We are are not going to turn them
into uni-bombers because we give them frozen waffles this week instead
of pancakes. As much as I love the Sound of Music we cannot sew all of
their clothes, clean the house, help with homework, teach them to sing,
and sit around and play the guitar all day. Surely we
would all love to romp through the fields singing instead of running our
businesses or working, but it's just not going to happen.
What we can do is love them with all of our hearts, and go from there.
We can be honest with ourselves about our shortcomings and work on
those. I think the most important thing we can give ourselves is the
knowledge that we are great Moms, and we love our kids and everything
else is icing on the cake. Last week as I was rushing the kids to their
classrooms and feeling a little stressed, I said hello to a teacher and
told her that I like to stand there until my first grader actually goes
into the classroom, but I stand back a little bit to give him "space".
We laughed and she made the comment that I was a great Mom. For some
reason I had to let that compliment sink in a little. When I was at the
house and we were rushing around getting ready, I didn't feel that
great. In fact, I felt disorganized and impatient. Now I realize I need
to give myself a break and see myself the way that teacher does. It's ok
to have a bad morning. We can love our kids and not be perfect.
The problem is we see television and read magazines that tell us we
should all be Martha Stewart, Heloise and Supermom wrapped into one. I
think we need to take more of an Erma Bombeck type of approach. Our
house may get messy, we may be late sometimes, we may miss an
appointment here or there, but we have love and laughter under our roof.
Those two things can carry a family through a crisis, the holidays and
yes, even a frantic morning.
About the author
Brenda Hyde is a wife and Mom of three, a freelance writer, and editor of Seeds of Knowledge.
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