A Lesson in Family History
By Rachel Paxton
A lesson in family history is as near as your family's cemetery. Teach
your children and grandchildren about those who have come before them.
Several years ago I attended my grandfather's funeral. Living into his
late eighties, my grandfather had lived a long, eventful life, first
with my father's mother who died after more than 40 years of marriage,
and then with his second wife, whom he shared his life with for more
than 20 years until he died. When my grandfather died, his wife, who is
now in a nursing home, forever said goodbye to her third husband and my
grandfather was buried next to his first wife, the mother of his four
children, in the small farming community where their children had been
born and raised.
When we arrived at the burial site, I didn't at first realize all of the
family history recorded before my very eyes. My aunt, my father's
sister, had lived all of her almost 60 years in this small community,
and she knew the history of each relative buried there, dating back to
the early 1800's. As we walked in between the grave stones, my aunt told
me story after story of the people who were laid to rest in this quiet
peaceful place--grandparents, great-grandparents, great aunts and
uncles. She told me the story of how my grandmother's mother had died
when my grandmother was a small girl, and how she and her brother had
been sent to live with relatives until their father remarried and they
were brought back to live with his new family. My aunt showed me where
my great grandparents were buried, as well as my great uncle. My
grandmother was buried on the other side of the cemetery, however, with
my grandfather's family--his family had also been buried there for
generations. I got goosebumps as I looked in awe at all the history
before me. My grandfather was buried right next to my grandmother, where
she had been patiently waiting for him for more than 20 years.
After the burial services we went and visited at the home of my
grandmother's half sister, a great aunt I had never met. My father's
family is a quiet bunch who normally keep to themselves and their own
lives, and I'd never been with so many members of his family at once. I
made a point to take lots of pictures and later made copies of them to
send to his brothers and sister. I knew in my heart that if I didn't
that moment would be lost and gone forever. They would probably never be
together in one place again.
I left with a small sense of sadness and a great awareness of my
mortality and my duty to preserve my family's memories. I wished my
daughter had been there with me to see what I had seen. She still does
not have a sense of connection to the family members who have come
before her.
My mother's family lives closer to us, and this Memorial Day I have made
the commitment to journey to the small community where my mother grew up
to visit the graves of her family members. Her sister, my aunt, still
lives there and still remembers the history represented by the solemn
grave markers. I will take my daughter with me this time, and I will
talk to her of those who have come before her. I want her to grow up
with a sense of purpose and a sense of connection to the past so she can
more consciously participate in the future to come, affecting the lives
of those will come after we are gone--those who might visit our graves
and wonder what great things we accomplished during our lifetimes.
What will people say about you when you're gone? I hope people will say
about me, "She was a loving wife and mother. A source of strength to all
who knew her. May God bless her and give her peace."
About the Author
Rachel Paxton is a freelance writer and mom who publishes the Creative
Homemaking Recipe of the Week Club, a weekly newsletter that contains
quick, easy dinner ideas and money-saving household hints. To subscribe
send a blank e-mail message to FreeRecipes-subscribe@egroups.com.
Visit Rachel at Creative Homemaking and in
the Home and Garden section of Suite 101.
