Can boys play with dolls and girls with cars?

[GrammieGiggles]

I have a large toybox filled with Cabbage Patch Dolls, trinkets from fast food restaurants, stuffed animals, cars, trucks, boats, frisbees (used for tea trays)etc..

Usually the first thing my little grandsons go for are the dolls! Or they will grab a frisbee and put little dishes and cups on it and serve me a snack. My granddaughter will pick up a doll, love on it, then toss her down and grab one of the trucks. I see nothing wrong with either situation. I have 2 son-in-laws that would absolutely freak if they knew I let their sons play with the dolls.

I don't know of any child that hasn't at one time in their life wanted to wear mom or dad's or a grandparent's shoes. Especially if they had high heels. High heeled shoes make better clomping noise across the floor!

What's your take on this?

[licia]

It seems to me the problem with boys playing with dolls and girls playing with trucks would be the parent who "freaks out" because of it. Little boys need the loving feelings that come from playing with dolls and they usually go on to other toys before long. Many times they are mimicking the relationship with their mothers when playing with dolls (boys or girls). My two sisters and I played with my brother's trucks and cars, designed our own bridges, roads, etc and all of us turned out okay.We also played with dolls and girlie toys. We played house and had a Christmas play in our living room every year and used my brother for baby Jesus until we couldn't keep him in the cradle. I think we should let the kids play with what they are comfortable with and not make an issue of it - but provide different types of toys for all.

[targirl]

I agree 100% with this. I don't think it hurts a boy to play with dolls, they usually only do it for a while and then they are through with it anyways. I think it may help them to be loving parents when they get older.

[MaddeesMom]

i agree. i don't have any experience with boys but i know when my daughter was little, about 2 or so, everytime we went to my sister in law's house the first thing she did was go for the hot wheels. we bought her a few cute sports cars and i got her the big rug with the town on it so she had a little road to drive them on. eventually she outgrew it and wanted more girlie stuff but it didn't bother me at all. i had a little fun myself racing with her

[sweetrose2]

I agree. There is nothing wrong with boys playing with dolls or girls with cars.
My daughter was always right out in the dirt pile with the trucks with her brothers. All my boys at one time or another also have played with a dolls. I think all is a very natural growing experience.

[GrammieGiggles]

So how do I explain to the Dads that this is normal and that I am not the Grammie from He-- trying to encourage their sons to become gay? I wish I knew whether or not they played with dolls when they were little, that would shut them up wouldn't it?

[Vernitta]

My sisters and I would play cars with my brother and he would play barbies with us. I've seen some of my nephews play with purses and wear my shoes (high heels do make the most noise lol). I've seen them play babies with my nieces. In my opinion there really isn't anything to worry about. Honestly, I would only worry if they were like age 7 and up and were playing with those type of things. As far as serving you food, that so does not mean anything. There are waiters that serve food in real life and no one freaks out thinking they might be gay. Even those men that cook.

Are these your son in laws you said? If possible call thier moms and ask her if they played with any "girl" toys when they were growing up before you approach them about it. I think that would probably make it easier for them to digest. It's understandable for them to get a little freaked out, that's what guys do. They want thier sons to be macho, not sissies.

[Lizzy]

OH come on - there aren't still men around that actually believe that playing with dolls can make you gay? Surely you jest Grammie?

[weezee66]

There is nothing wrong with this, I used to babysit a little girl and my son who was about 2 at the time would take her doll all the time, I finally bought a male cabbage patch for him, My marine husband was not thrilled but did not discourage him, anyway he is now almost 16 and the phone rings off the hook with girls calling him. He can't wait to get his license so he can start dating. Violet would also play with his tonka trucks and cars too. She is a lovely young woman now with lots of interest in boys. If I remember right he outgrew the doll at about 4 years old.

[Gayla]

I don't think there's anything wrong with children playing with whatever toys they want. My grandson's pre-school has little centers in the room with toys grouped according to catagory. One of the favorites with the little boys is the housekeeping center. It has a little kitchen, some dolls, and clothes for dress-up. They all fight about who gets to wear the apron and cook the dinner... Too bad they usually outgrow that long before they marry.. Of course they play with the trucks and sports toys too. It's just fun for them to be able to play with a wide variety of different toys.

[MaddeesMom]

i think it's just as normal for guys to freak out about their sons playing with dolls as it is for the boys to play with the dolls. after all, the men folk aren't usually as enlightened i don't think that makes anyone a bad dad or anything, just a guy.

[Vernitta]

I agree with you MaddeesMom. I asked my husband if he would be upset if our son played with his girl cousin's toys he said no. It's really natural for guys to freak out about that kind of stuff an really not a big deal.

[Gayla]

Lots of my grandson's favorite toys are action figures...which are dolls. ;) I do remember my ex-SIL having a fit because I (jokingly) suggested my grandson take ballet. We had just gone to see The Nutcracker and I figured since most of the fathers wouldn't let their sons take ballet, he'd be the only boy and a shoe in to get the lead. It was kind of fun... However, one of his after school classes is creative movement....which is dance. They have an opportunity to take piano lessons, all kinds of sports, dance, and computer skills classes after school.

[Lizzy]

Gayla, what do you call a male ballet dancer? Not a ballerina surely? Anyhow those guys are majorly well built, very strong and surrounded 24/7 by gorgeous women wearing little more than a hanky. So why aren't all the guys lining up to do it?

Maybe I should put this in the Brag forum but Jay (dear almost 9 year old son) has just found out that he's been accepted into the Excellence in Performing Arts dance Programme at school. He'll be performing during the year at various school and outside events as well as the Wakkakiri dance contest. We're very proud of him and it's great for his self esteem also.

[Gayla]

Way to go, Jay!!!!!! (Clap Clap Clap Clap) That is so cool!!

[Rush'd Lady]

You won't believe this, but it was my mother-in-law who "freaked out" when my son, at that time abt. 2, asked for one of those Fisher-Price kitchen-in-one-piece toys for Christmas. I remember her distinctly telling him that was a girl toy & she wasn't buying it for him. Made me so mad -- I couldn't afford it for him or I would have bought it then.

Yes, there are male chefs, fry cooks, dishwashers and waiters. I worked with several in restaurants in my younger days and they were as manly as could be! We have the Galloping Gourmet & the Frugal Gourmet as well as all those on the PBS channel now!

[Mindwell Taylor]

Those dads probably don't freak out if their daughters play with cars, do they? My brothers and sisters and I played with each other's toys. But usually when the boys' friends are over, boys do "boy things." You see, when I was little, I wanted my brother to be the father for my doll. He went to work and played at an invisible typewriter (we didn't have a toy one), then he came home and held the baby.

I give all my grandsons Raggedy Andy dolls on their first Christmas; the granddaughters get Raggedy Anns. My grandson wanted a necklace because his sister had one. I got a silver chain and put a whistle and a dinosaur (from a keychain) on it.

My youngest sister was between two boys and never played dolls, but she isn't a lesbian.

[littlelight]

with 2 boys it is weird... I grew up with a brother and we moved 11 times before I was 9. If I wanted a playmate I had to play what he wanted to play... Do you think he wanted to play dolls or GI Joe? You better believe we played war, cowboys and indians, Secret Service, etc the majority of the time. I turned out just fine and now understand how to play with my boys better than if I was surrounded with my barbie dolls 24/7.

I have also been a preschool teacher for the last decade and the majority vote out there inthe "proffesional circles" is that you offer both and allow the child to chose his/her interests. That isn't always possible in a home setting, but listen to your kids and if you are a grandparent than don't apologize for what you have to offer to play with at your house- if they don't like it have them bring toys they prefer! ;)

[MaddeesMom]

i'm not really sure why someone would think that a girl that didn't play dolls was a lesbian ...

my husband never thought that about my daughter at all, in fact, he had a lot of fun with the cars and one christmas she wanted a t-ball set and we got it for her and they had a blast. she plays sports now, soccer and tennis, and is very good at both (her soccer team won the west texas invitational for their division and won their division in the regular season finishing 7-0-1). but she is also a very girly girl. she loves her jewelry, dressy shoes and now wants her room redone in cheetah print! i don't know why people can't just let thier kids be kids.

[sheilanfl]

That is how we as a nation of less confined women are/have raised our beloved children. Not to fit into any sterotype! My son, who bless his heart was surrounded by women all his life ( the only man was his dad-and he was absoloutely no use!) My son learned to cook, clean, take care of babies as he was the middle child. He is now the proud father of one daughter & they are TTC #2 (though she was just offered a huge promotion-baby making may be set off for a while). I get on to him from time to time about their house being a mess, she's at work, he's already home, get to work & fix some supper, just because she's a woman doesn't mean she's supposed to do it all! YDD on the other hand has learned over the past few years to use power tools, saw's all, table saws, etc, as we are constantly rebuilding /remodeling etc, and it requires her as well as myself. As for the auto mobiles, my dh ask us NOT to work on them, that he would take care of them (We take it to the garage if he can't get to it soon enough ;) YDD leaves for college at the end of this semester & is in love. Though her beau did lay it down, we both work, you go to school, I'll cook & clean when I'm off & you can do the same. He was raised with 5 siblings by a single mom. Though she is now gone, she should be proud of what a fine son she raised, & one I am please will become part of our family by the end of the year. He too can cook, clean, sew, & take care of babies. So by all means nuture our sons & teach our daughters that there is nothing they can't do!