Freedom of Grief for My Mother

Freedom of Grief for My Mother

On December 27, 1966, it was my 18th birthday; my mother had been ill but I did not realize how ill she was; she was a single mother who raised 3 children on her own; she had remarried a man who was totally blind and they had a son when my mother was in her 40's!  We lived a very simple life; mother was a skilled seamstress who made all our clothing; a Southern cook and a Southern lady.  I was very distraught on my 18th birthday knowing that my mother was going into the hospital.  I fell to the floor and grabbed my mother's leg while she was trying to leave the house with my older sister who was taking her to the hospital for tests for leukemia.  I wailed and cried as my mother drug me out the front door on her leg.
Since that tragic day in 1966, I haven't celebrated a happy birthday; the day was filled with sadness and tears with no celebration at all.  You see, my Mother died in May, 1967, her funeral was held on a Friday; I graduated from high school on that following Monday evening.  I was thrust into adult hood too soon with responsibilities that I had to literally learn overnight.
I have lived with this spotlight over my birthday for 42 years but in November 2008, I was attending a GriefShare ( meeting and the video speaker stated that a person in grief must step out of the spotlight of grieving for their loved one and move on....well...that statement hit my heart like an arrow!!  I knew that I had always put the spotlight on my grief for my mother on that particular day - my birthday and couldn't get past my loss.  I was set free of the grief for my mother on my birthday.  That night at the meeting, I heard my mother's audible voice speak to my heart, "Happy Birthday Sweetheart, Mama Loves You"!!
At school where I work, the kindergarteners were told of this remarkable story; they gave me a surprise birthday party; I was presented with a Happy #60 Birthday helium balloon.  The next day the balloon was still tied to my chair; The Lord impressed upon me to release that balloon along with my grief for my mother on my birthday into the air; I stepped out the back door of the classroom and lifted the balloon into the air and released my hand and said, "This is for your Mama"!!
I had the most joyful birthday ever this year and will continue to have joy in my heart on my birthday because I will see my Mother in Heaven one day and will rejoice with her about this event.
God has to take us through tunnels of grief; yet, He alone sends us lanterns of His Light to light our life into the way He needs us to follow in order to heal our broken hearts, minds and bodies.


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